the matter of being alone

I've been home alone for 2 days already. Papa mama and everybody [except ate], have all gone to Pangasinan to fish. Ate naman has work from morning till 5. In the evening, alone din sana with my sister and the dog on new year's eve... buti nalang sinundo kami ni uncle to spend the new year with them. Nothing exciting to recount. Basta the normal way I spend new year. Eat, cover ears and lucis. Well, we used to record firecracker sounds at home, but we haven't done that in a long time since that year when people seemed to have fallen into a pit of depression that even Christmas lights were seldom seen in our village. I still remember the time when new year just sang its way to silent night, lonely night. But now I believe people have recovered. I just cant remember what happened during that year, if it had something to do with the economy whatsoever. Houses in our village are now competing with each other on holiday lights and decors. Patalbugan talaga. Now that ive spent my new year at my aunt's, kasama mga cousingsings, lalang, puro kain, nood tv at laro kay mojari. I missed my parents. Sana ok ang mga fishy.

This year is packed with reasons to celebrate life and to start doing something for a living. 4 already replaced 3 in 2003. the new year 2004 is 4 me. 4 everyone. 4 my family and friends. 4 God and country. 4 my hopes and dreams. Sabi ko senyo puro reason eh... [hoops... corny! pero kahet na new year, hindi parin ako magbabago noh… mananatili akong ganito]

Punyeta pardon me pero I'm now allergic to aud lang syne. Kainis every network plays it, as in yung showbiz version pa, di malayo sa that's entertainment song... I hope u hear what I mean. Nanririndi nako promis! I just wish I could compose a new year song that would replace it forever.

new year! im gonna get a job this month! positive thinking... positive thinking... positive thinking...

ps. I love spongebob squarepants!